Favorite Paper.

Over this course we wrote 4 different papers. When writing, I find it most enjoyable to argue so naturally my favorite paper I wrote this semester was where I argued a position. It first appealed to me because I could pick an argument of my choice. I liked this because it is something that lets me have almost total freedom in what I want to write, but I also got the opportunity to create an argument that I had total control over.

Along with this, I liked this paper because there was no research needed. I'm not trying to sound lazy, but the
information that is being presented throughout this paper is all previous knowledge. This means that there is more creativity needed for the paper. This makes it more fun to write because you are trying to argue a position with everything in your head. It seems like the ideal paper to write.

 
 

Arguments

The essay that I covered was "The $78 Million Bag". In this essay the writers try to appeal to the readers through the use of marijuana. They write about how what most people have done last night which tries to ease tension on the subject as well as appeal to the reader. Along with this is a tone that is lighter then what would be expected from a serious subject. Another thing I noticed with the essay is that there are a lot of statistics. The statistics all come from other sources and are used to put together this $78 million. The use of statistics being incorporated into the whole paper gives the writers credibility which helps support their argument because they are more believable. The third thing I noticed in this analysis is that the argument of this essay is not so clear and is open to interpretation. I think this is important because that way when you are arguing in your own essay then  there is a lot to talk about. If the argument was so pin point then it would be very hard to argue for because the evidence and everything else needed for a good argument is not there.

Peer Review Process

First, I think the peer review process helps out a lot in class. It is effective because it helps to hear ideas from other peers. Ideas from other peers help me because my peers always have different ideas no matter how hard I try to look for other view points. I think that it can be improved with more open discussion. Instead of one person filling out a worksheet for your paper, maybe having a group talk about each persons paper after being read out loud would help. As a peer reviewer I think my strength is that I am very analytical. I really try to see if the paper is sticking true to its thesis. My weakness is that I don't mention simple mistakes because, while they are important, they are not as important as other aspects like wording or sentence structure. In my ideal peer review each person would read their paper aloud and then have the audience asking questions about the paper. In answering these questions the writer can see the problems and what needs to be changed in the paper. I think this would best be done in groups of 7 or 8 students, that way its more personal but there is also a good number of students working on each paper.

Problems

In looking at my first two papers for Writing 101 I notice that there are a couple of errors that are repeated throughout both of them. I have been using the same word repeatedly, not having a strong thesis, and having not enough content.

When I wrote my first draft for my literacy narrative I could not tell that I was using the same words all the time. This made my papers seem boring when I would try to make  them really descriptive.Later throughout writing other drafts of papers I realized(even there I was going to use "I would" which was in the previous sentence) that I was doing the same thing. The only way to fix this is by reading each draft a few times to spot the same words and fix them.

Both papers I wrote did not have a strong thesis. This is really hard for me to do because a lot of times when I try to have a specific thesis I might get off topic, and when I am off topic it is hard to get me back on track. I've been able to fix this by not making my thesis first, but by first writing my body paragraphs that way I will have already argued on a topic. Then I can fix that by making a strong thesis that works around my body paragraphs.

In all of my papers that I wrote this year they have been too short or to the bare minimum of the length requirement.  I do not think this affects my writing in a negative way, but that I just need to add more content to the papers. Many times I would fill the requirements as in answering the papers topic question but it would be way too short to turn in. To fix this I think the best way is by broadening my answers to these questions that way I have more to write instead of one specific topic.

78 million and counting.

In this article, many different aspects of how the law cracks down on pot in Cook County(more specifically Chicago) is assessed. According to the article it costs an overall 78 million dollars when everything is totaled up which is only involving the possession of marijuana. This amount can be added to 10 million more dollars if you consider the growing and selling marijuana. Throughout the next couple months many will review the budget for 2012. With this 78 million dollar cost playing a factor, many people will be laid off, increase in taxes, and even some departments that were considered untouchable when dealing with money will take a hit.This cost has county commissioner John Fritchey wondering about legalization. Fritchey does mention that the only way for legalization to be considered is if the people want it. For the past several years there have been around 23,000 marijuana related arrests which is the same amount as battery and assault combined. Marijuana related arrests are also the leading cause of arrests by the Chicago Police Department. Along with that it takes, on a good day, two hours to process one arrest. This is a waste of time because most offenders are able to be released on bond, and if taken to jail it would waste even more time. All marijuana possession charges add up to around 84,000 hours of work per year. As if that wasn't enough, court case involved with marijuana possession costs at least $2,500 just to be opened. The problem with this is that 9 out of 10 of the cases end up dismissed. Chicago police are also payed at least two hours of overtime pay no matter how quick the case is. All the work with arrests ends up to about 70 million in costs per year. The extra 8 million is the cost of incarceration for those who are put in jail based on possession charges.

This article caught my attention because it is about Chicago as well as being a controversial topic in marijuana. I like this article because it talks about how the cost of arrests with marijuana possession is detrimental to the city as well as the county. I like this article because, I think, at least someone in some way has an encountered marijuana before. It is also in many television shows and movies.

I think that this argument is playing on the fact that legalizing marijuana can help the city and the county in many ways. With all of the extra money being thrown back into the system because it wasn't needed for marijuana arrests there will be money for more money to save programs and lower taxes. Another way this helps is that the police will be able to spend time on more dangerous criminals and other criminal activity.

Reflection

Now that the semester is at its mid point I do think I have progressed as a writer. The best thing for me in this class is when we go over the reading from the book. This really helps because they are examples of the types of essays we are going to write for this class. Another thing I like about these essays is that when we analyze them in class we go over the meanings of why they are written a certain way. Along with the readings I thinkg the peer review sheets help with becoming a better writer. The only problem with these peer reviews is that the reviewer sometimes might be too nice when reading. My writing process has also changed over these past seven weeks. Before I would really only do one rough draft before my final draft is finished. Now on this next paper that is coming up, I will most likely do an additional draft. This class has helped me change my vocabulary. I have noticed that before in my papers there is a lot of repetition. Now I'll notice this problem and look for ways to change it. As for the class I like when we get into groups and work in the book compared to when we all sit together and talk about it. When we work in smaller groups we get to talk more about the reading and its easier to ask questions. I also like working with peers to see if we are on the same page or if we have similar ideas.

rhetorical advertisement

My advertisement is of Old Spice. I noticed that there is not that much of a difference between telling a narrative story and doing an analyses for an advertisement. Both of instances are telling a story. For a narrative its something that you can express first hand because it is something that you have experienced yourself. An analyses of an advertisement involves trying to interpret the story shown in the picture. This is harder because it is not something experienced as in a narrative. Another way these two are different is that, in an advertisement,  you are trying to prove to the audience about what is being told. In a narrative you prove something about the story that you have previously experienced.

Old Spice

• Purpose: Through a crazy scene full of bright colors and randomness on the man's body, old spice is able to show that their deodorant is just as awesome as everything else that is in the picture.
• Audience: The audience for this advertisement is definitely geared towards men. This ad appeals to men because of its contents. The only line, " Become one of the freshest smelling places on earth", helps the advertisement appeal to men. Also this man looks very "manly" which would also appeal to other men trying to become more "manly".
• Genre: This ad is a lot like the other advertisements by old spice. They are very outgoing and very unique. Each ad has this man in it along with some ridiculous thing that is happening. This ad along with the other Old Spice ads get the point across about this deodorant being for only "manly" men.
• Tone: The tone of this advertisement is very vibrant colors.It is also full of random objects on the mans shoulders and upper body. There is only one line of text as well.

Revision

My final draft compared to my first draft isn't that different. Most of the essay is worded the same. I did change a few minor grammatical errors as well as add in a few more details. The structure of the paper has also stayed the same because it is mostly in chronological order. I did read through it a few times and there were not that many mistakes. Just simple spelling errors and some run-on sentences was all I could find that needed to be changed. I think the problem that I had writing this paper was that I let it flow onto the page. During my first draft the words I chose came out naturally and they fit well. My issue was that even though the words sounded good when I was reading the paper aloud, the formation of sentences did not fit right into the paper. The biggest help in writing my final draft was the peer review we worked on in class. As I read the comments back to me I noticed what needed to be changed. The feedback given was mainly on grammatical mistakes and not so much as how the story was told. This gave me reassurance because I did not think that my essay was really good to begin with. My strongest part of the essay would definitely be my description. I used very specific details throughout the story which I think gives the reader a strong visual of what happened. My weakest was having the little grammar mistakes throughout the paper. If I had no peer review I think some of them would have slipped by me.

Difference In Grades

 When writing a paper there are a few factors that would make the difference in grades. Repetition of words, clear descriptions, and how the parts of the paper are put in order can make the difference between the letter grades of an "A" or a "C".

Repetition of words is a key aspect to writing a good paper. It is important to NOT use the same words over and over because this can make a paper boring. This repetition of words will loose the audience due to their lack of interest in the paper. You want to spice up the paper and keep it interesting by switching up the vocabulary you use throughout the paper. This will make the paper more interesting/enjoyable to the reader. This part is hardest for me because sometimes I feel like I have used all of my brain power and then I'll notice that many words are the same and it takes me a long time in order to find other words that still do the same job as the word used repeatedly.

Having clear descriptions in your paper is necessary in order for it to get a good grade. If everything in the essay is described by words such as "good" or "hard" then it will not be receiving an A grade. It would be better to have words like "wonderful" or "difficult" then those simple boring words. Also with more clear description the audience will like the essay more and they will be able to understand the essay more. If the essay is enjoyable and easy to understand then it is likely to receive a higher grade. This is my strong point. I  always try to paint a picture with words(I know it sounds cliche). That's how my 4th grade teacher taught me how to write and that's how I've been doing it since. So far it has worked out pretty good.

Along with word repetition and clear description comes with how the paper is put together. Having a paper make no sense to the audience would be a major problem. Depending on where the paragraph is placed in a paper it can save a lot of time and explanation. If all of the paragraphs are put in their ideal places then the essay should make sense to the audience. If the essay is totally out of order then it would be very difficult for the audience to understand.

Generating Ideas.

As a child my mom would always read to me the famous Cat In The Hat by Dr. Seuss. This was the first book I could remember being read to me and actually understanding it. When my mom read this book to me it really got my imagination moving as a little kid. I used to talk to my fish for hours hoping that it would answer back. This book gave me hours of endless joy using just my imagination. This example is good to use because it is very easy to relate to as most people have read this book as a child. On the other hand it might be difficult to write about because I don't remember much of what I did specifically just what my mother told me. When I was twelve years old I started to practice for my Bar Mitzvah. This involved an immense amount of reading as well as writing. Everyday for at least an hour I would practice for that one day. I like this example because it shows how reading and writing are very important while studying. This helped me with my study skills as well. On the down side I did not really enjoy all the work so I don't know if its worth writing about. My last Idea is about The Great Gatsby. I like this idea because this was the first book that I honestly really enjoyed reading. What I liked about it was all of the underlying ideas beyond the text. That book made me think more then any other book I've read. I think its a good idea to write about because it's one of my favorite books that I can have a conversation about.

Why I am taking english 101

To some people, English 101 is a required course and nothing more. There is nothing wrong with that but I know that I am definitely trying to get something more out of this class. To me this class is where I can improve my writing skills to help me in my future classes. I want this class to help improve my skills when it comes to writing papers as well as on essay type questions on any exams I might take. Also I am hoping for this class to help me out a lot with improving my writing process so that I can become a more focused writer. Normally my writing doesn't just pop out of my head but I have a couple of ideas before I start. To me the hardest part is taking those ideas and organizing them in a way that makes sense to the audience. Another thing is taking those ideas that I come up with and make sure they are written to support each other. Those are the main things that I am looking for when I take this class over the next couple of months. I am sure along the way there will still be some other interesting things that I learn/can use as well. If I get what I am looking for out of this class then I will be satisfied and I know that the everything learned will not go to waste because I will use this information for the rest of my life.